Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Sometimes I feel like I am honestly going to snap. I just completed one of the most trying weeks I've ever experienced. I feel overwhelmed and tired. I'm having problems with my birth control and I feel horrible. I am going to be a whiny bitch in this blog entry, but I think I'm entitled to that. Try having your period for 14 days straight (and counting) and let me see what you come up with.

I don't want much in life. I think that my desires are pretty understandable and rational at this point in my life. I'm going to be 27 years old soon and I feel that I've worked hard for what I have and deserve to feel happiness. I feel that my happiness rests on having:

A safe place to live
A family
Financial stability

Those are the three main things that I'm working so hard to achieve right now. As my friends and loved ones settle down and start to have children, I feel left out. You could even say that I'm jealous. I want to be there also... so I work harder and I take on more responsibility... but I get nowhere. Right now there is no more room on my plate for anything else. The damn plate is full. My weeks are stuffed full of all these activities to try and "better myself" but I don't feel better. I feel like I'm going to grind my teeth down to stumps if I don't change something.

I'm currently:
Taking 2 classes (one online, one meets on Saturdays)
Working 40 hours a week (teaching DEMON CHILDREN)
Paying the bills (all of them!)
Trying to stay in shape
Taking more responsiblity on the second grade team (planning a field trip this week...)

On one hand, I like to feel busy. But on the other hand, I don't feel like I'm GETTING ANYWHERE! Ugh, I think that writing this really did help my mind calm down a little bit...
Is it normal to feel this frustrated at my age?

1 comment:

Juicy said...

Yes, it's very normal. Let me tell you, it's funny that I just read your post because I was just having a moment right before I got on the computer. I was telling Lance how big of a loser I am. I'm not in school because I can't afford it. I bartend at a shitty place to try and make ends, but I'm constantly behind on my bills and I feel like I have no ambitions right now or direction in my life. You definitely work a lot and are taking on a lot. It's natural to be stressed. I think you need to find a niche. Something that you enjoy doing and that you can benefit from financially. I'm sorry you're so stressed!!! I wish I could help. Love you