Positivity

I'm feeling much more optimistic than I did the other day when I wrote. I get in these moods where all I do is wallow in self pity and it's so ridiculous that I feel ashamed of myself. Today I did something that I've been meaning to do and actually wrote down my feelings and I shared them with Steve. It was much harder to do than I thought it would be, but I think that it was worth the anxiety. I feel like he really knows what's on my mind now and he understands me a little better.

Let me tell you kids, it is not easy being married. I love my husband very much. We have been together a long time and we really have built the foundations of a great relationship. But once when you live with someone in the "real world," things change. What I mean by the real world is the world where you pay bills, own a home, work 40+ hours a week and have true and unrelenting responsibilities. Before we were married, we had the Navy footing the bill. Working was important, but I wasn't too concerned about how much I made. I just needed enough to get by. Now, I have to bring home that money or we lose our home. Talk about a change in the stress. All this takes a toll on your relationship when you don't know how to handle it. I like to believe that Steve and I can handle it. Only time will tell. But we are trying hard because we love each other. I hope that that's enough.

I have neglected my blog and livejournal for a while because of the sheer amount of chaos going on in my life right now. I have been working for Yelp.com since September doing online reviews of local businesses, so most of my time online has been spent doing that. My assignment is winding down though and I'll have more time to write for fun. I have enjoyed working for Yelp though. It's really allowed me to experience a lot of places in this city that I might have overlooked otherwise. I still think Orlando is the armpit of Florida, but I can now admit that there's some positives to this city. There's so many quirky and interesting stores and restaurants. Being as I am a foodie, it's a lot of fun for me!

Well that is all for now... I'm going to try and dedicate more time to getting my thoughts out on here!