Welcome Fall

I just spent the past five months or so complaining about the heat and torture that is summer in Florida. I woke up this morning and it was actually in the 60s and I felt that surge of energy and optimism that I feel every fall.

Fall in Florida is absolutely glorious. The sky is the brightest shade of blue you can imagine and the air smells so fresh. Why can't it be like this all year?

Twilight

In the past week, I have read 3 out of the 4 Twilight Saga books. I was skeptical at first - they seemed like they might be a little too teenage-angsty-drama-ish. After reading the first one though, I could not stop. Yes, the subject matter is kinda corny if you think about it (A girl in love with a vampire... she's also best friends with a werewolf...), but if you just sit back and enjoy it for what it is, you will not be dissapointed.

The story centers around Isabella "Bella" Swan, a 17 year old who moves up to the depressingly wet town of Forks, Washington to live with her father after her mother remarries. She meets Edward Cullen, a strikingly handsome and confounding classmate of hers. Drama ensues... they become friends... she discovers he's a little less than human... and they fall in love.

I am not one for the sappy love novel and if you're with me on that - no need to worry here. There's enough action and suspense to counteract the gushy love stuff. I love the way Meyer gives you insight into what's going on inside her characters heads. Bella's character is funny and endearing, so much that you could almost imagine her being a friend of yours. I always thought that these books would be more aimed towards the adolescent crowd, but the storyline and issues that are brought up are definitely relevant to a more mature audience.

Since last Saturday, I also read books 2 and 3 (New Moon and Eclipse) and they just kept getting better. New Moon started out a little slow for my taste, but it did introduce a new and interesting character, Jacob Black. He's an old family friend that Bella becomes close with during a difficult time in her life. He's a complex character and adds a little more drama to the already juicy plot. Eclipse tied together a lot of the loose ends from New Moon and leaves you anxiously jumping into Breaking Dawn, the final book.

So regardless if you're 15 or 35, you should definitely check out the Twilight Saga. I promise you won't be able to pull yourself away until you're finished them all (take it from me....).

That day in Cadiz

I knew that life was going to be hard after college. As I was traveling and avoiding all of my responsibilities a few years ago, I knew that I would call on those memories when I was feeling stressed or depressed. The past few weeks have been trying to say the least. I find myself driving to work and daydreaming about taking the Metro to Universidad Complutense in Madrid. As I sit in gridlock on East Colonial Drive in the hell that is Orlando rush hour traffic - somehow these memories calm me. Usually a song sets them off.

Today I was in the shower at 10pm after a particularly exhausting day and Don't Panic by Coldplay came on my iPod. What a suitable song for me, since today I almost had a panic attack about three times. Anyways, it took me back to the four days that I spent in Sevilla and Cadiz with my three Persian buddies from ISA - Diana, Natalie and Rebecca. I listened to Coldplay pretty much non-stop during my months traveling and therefore most of the songs are connected to that experience for me. But this particular song brings me back to a morning on the beach in Cadiz.

That day in Cadiz was my first time at a topless beach. I have zippo body confidence, so I kept my top on. Diana's friend from Paris was traveling with us that day, and she promptly shed her top and conversed with us while getting sunburnt in areas that were definitely not used to seeing the sun. I loved the beach that day because it was actually cold out. The sun felt so amazing on my skin. I grew up in Florida and going to the beach for me includes chest collapsing humidity, uncomfortably harsh sun, and blistering heat. I actually had a sweater on over my bathing suit and my really Cuban-looking straw hat.

I remember feeling completely free. That is what travel is to me. Feeling like I don't have to answer to anyone except for myself. When I travel, I'm allowed to be completely self-indulgent. I can change my plans and go where I please. My daily life is so far from this that it stiffles me. It is not that I don't enjoy my career and love my husband. I truly do. But sometimes I miss the carefree and spontaneous version of my self that I seem to have left somewhere over in Europe. I wish I could get that part of myself back and teach her how to live in my here and now.

That day in Cadiz, I put my headphones on and snuggled up in my sweater. I laid back on the warm sand and fell asleep to Don't Panic. Forever, that song and that memory are bonded together.

Otra vez!

25 Nov 08
Orlando, FL 7:55pm
San Juan, PR 11:40pm

28 Nov 08
San Juan, PR 7:45pm
Orlando, FL 9:52pm

It will be a little strange to not spend Thanksgiving at home with our families. I am more excited this time because Steve and I have a better idea of what places to avoid and what places we want to spend more time in. We'll definitely be heading back to Dorado for a full day of snorkeling and surfing. This time I will bring the camera!

All the stars and boulevards ain't close enough for you...

I'm in a really weird phase of my life right now. The past couple of months have been hugely stressful and trying. Steve's brother was living with us for a while and we got wrapped up in his family drama. Even though it didn't directly involve us - being there around it all the time was extremely hard for us. Once he left, Steve and I have been going back and forth about what we want to do with our lives... when will we start having children... how can we move into a bigger house... and on and on.

I have the type of personality where I can't leave things unresolved. Everytime we have one of these "discussions" I feel more and more frustrated because nothing is going to get resolved in an angry discussion occuring at 8pm on a Tuesday night. If anything, we go to bed angry and the whole cycle starts again the next day.

Fortunately, we have a strong marriage and open lines of communication. We decided to come down to West Palm to visit my folks and for once we didn't have any definite plans. Just to come and relax. GREAT idea. We spent most of yesterday getting tanned and laying in my parent's pool. Then we watched about 5 hours of football and went to bed early. I feel refreshed and energetic and for once positive about what the next few months may bring.

Things are not perfect (nor will they ever be...), but I think that if I can be patient and keep my head on straight - Steve will figure out what his path is. I need to just stick to mine and his will come with time.

For the love of the job

I really love my job. I really jumped right in to the whole teaching thing and not only is it my job, but it's such an important part of who I am at this point that I can't imagine having another career. I found something that works so perfectly with what I want in a career. I get to be creative, laugh, and learn myself all day. I could never work in a career where I wasn't constantly learning myself. It saddens me just how much teachers are unappreciated and underpaid, but that just makes me want to work harder. I hope to work my way up to a principal some day and possibly work have some leadership position with the county that would allow me to work towards changing the mistreatment of teachers and students in this state.

I honestly can't wait to go back to work. There is so much more that I want to do this year and I can't wait to get started on it.

The Worry "Cure"

So I am a worrier. My mom is, my grandma probably was, and I'll probably pass this wonderful neurosis on to my lucky future children one day.

My worrying has morphed into full blown anxiety causing attacks and depression. It's not fun.

Well, today I found this great book:

I almost put it back on the shelf, but I started flipping through it and it kind of frightened me just how much of this applies to me. People always say, "Just don't worry so much!" "Relax!" "There's no need to be so stressed..." But what people don't realize is that this worrying is so ingrained in who I am, that it's an unconscious process.

It seriously sounds like this doctor wrote this about me. I am so excited to read it because hopefully it'll give me some insight into what I can do to fix this.

The thing that really hooked me into buying this book was this:

The Seven Rules of Highly Worried People

1. If something bad could happen- if you can simply imagine it0 then it's your responsibility to worry about it.

2. Don't accept any uncertainty- you need to know for sure. (This one REALLY applies to me)

3. Treat all of your negative thoughts as if they are really true.

4. Anything bad that could happen is a reflection of who you are as a person. (Another that I do ALL THE TIME)

5. Failure is unacceptable.

6. Get rid of any negative feelings immediately.

7. Treat everything like an emergency.

I read these and almost started crying - my whole life I've approached my life like this. I have to solve all my problems tonight... right now! Before I go to sleep. I usually lay in bed thinking about things and getting up sometimes to write lists.

Anyways, this post is mainly to say that I am stoked that I am not the only person out there that goes through this. There might be hope for me. :)