Now I can exhale...

Steve and I were in a pretty bad car accident today. Thankfully, we both came out mostly unscathed. I have a couple of pulled muscles in my neck/shoulder but that's pretty much it. We are both pretty shaken though. Thank you Lord for keeping us safe today.

We were not at fault... we were actually cut off by a car trying to make a left turn when they didn't have the right of way. The impact was pretty hard and we both were pretty scared when it happened. Both airbags deployed and when that happened it shot dust into our faces. The impact was so hard that my head snapped forward and I couldn't hear or see for a few seconds. It probably all transpired in 30 seconds from impact to the time the Steve was getting out of the car to help me... but in that instant it felt like it lasted forever. I was absolutely terrified. I've never been in a situation where I truly felt like I was in danger of being seriously hurt. I was so afraid for Steve. I felt relieved when I looked over and saw that he was awake and alert.

The paramedics strapped me to the board and took me into the hospital just to be safe. I have a lot of neck pain and I'm on some meds... but all in all I don't feel that terrible. I'm going to have a terrible bruise across my boobs. The seat belts really saved us from what could've been much worse.

Again, I am thinking of how God kept us safe today. That accident couldn't been much worse than it was.

My white Corolla is totalled... still waiting from the final word from Geico... but the odds are we'll be car shopping again in about a week.

What a bad run of luck I've been having lately!!!

Things that I despise

Okay, well I know before I abandoned blogging in the past month I was focusing on the positive. But I literally had the week from hell and I am allowed to wallow in self-pity for a bit.

- Feeling behind. Missing work for a week has left me completely overwhelmed. I haven't even gone back yet and my mind is spinning. I am going to need a super-sized Xanax by Monday at 3pm.

- Feeling helpless. I felt like a big bag o' crap all week long. I couldn't even get off the couch and clean my house which drove me crazy!

- Frustration. The kids that I teach leave me feeling frustrated for most of the day. How can I break through to them? Some days I feel like I am standing at the front of the class, waving my arms, screaming practically - all for nothing. They just don't get it. School is a drag and they don't care what I say... it'll never change their (or their family's for that matter) opinion.

It's been a while...

School started and I literally have not taken a moment for myself...

I'm just getting over strep throat (thought I had the H1N1 virus but that came back negative), and I missed a full week of school.

Anyone that is a teacher can tell you just how horribly stressful this is. I had three different substitutes in my room within five days... it's a mess.

I'm not looking forward to this coming week.

Things are just not coming together how I imagined. I feel like I have a tenuous hold on my class this year - like at any minute they are all going to go ape shit and run screaming out of the classroom. I know that this is me perceiving it through my perfectionist eyes... but it's stressful nonetheless.

Still not pregnant, but keeping my fingers crossed for this month.

The weird thing is that I don't feel that sense of urgency that I did back in June or July. It's like our "deadline" already passed... so at this point whenever it happens it happens.

Right now my life is just work and stress. Which probably explains why I just spent the past week sick out of my mind.

I need to get back into blogging and spending some time doing the things I love... or I'm going to burn out on this school year by October.