What to expect when you're trying to conceive...

I think I'm going crazy with this trying to make a baby business. I just bought an ovulation microscope. A few months back, a friend of mine on livejournal suggested that I get one instead of using those (really expensive) ovulation predictor strips. She says a friend swore by it and got pregnant once she started using it. I didn't think it sounded very good so I didn't order it at the time. Well, I'm reading this:

And it kinda explained the reasoning behind using it etc etc... so I got online and found one for about $25. I figured... what the hell. At this point, I'm at the half-way point of FREAKING THE HELL OUT... so I don't have much to lose. Plus those ovulation pee-strips are godawful expensive. About 20 bucks a pop for only SEVEN. Whose cycle is that normal that they only need seven? I need like 27 per month to figure out what's going on.

Another gripe of mine: Hearing people's solutions that supposedly got them pregnant quicker than you can say fallopian tube.

"Have sex on the 10th, 12th and 14th day of your cycle. If your husband attempts to touch you on the 11th... 13th... or 15th... tell him to get the hell away from you."

"Stand on your head after sex."

"Don't pee right after doing the deed! You'll flush the little buggers out."

You get the picture. I've tried to lay off the stressin' over this in the past couple of cycles... but lately I'm feeling the babyitis itch coming on with a vengeance. Our original plan: pregnant by July/August. Well kids, it's November already. I'll be surprised if we conceive before the end of the year. This puts me giving birth just in time for the next school year to start. NOT COOL.

Must relax... must relax...