That day in Cadiz

I knew that life was going to be hard after college. As I was traveling and avoiding all of my responsibilities a few years ago, I knew that I would call on those memories when I was feeling stressed or depressed. The past few weeks have been trying to say the least. I find myself driving to work and daydreaming about taking the Metro to Universidad Complutense in Madrid. As I sit in gridlock on East Colonial Drive in the hell that is Orlando rush hour traffic - somehow these memories calm me. Usually a song sets them off.

Today I was in the shower at 10pm after a particularly exhausting day and Don't Panic by Coldplay came on my iPod. What a suitable song for me, since today I almost had a panic attack about three times. Anyways, it took me back to the four days that I spent in Sevilla and Cadiz with my three Persian buddies from ISA - Diana, Natalie and Rebecca. I listened to Coldplay pretty much non-stop during my months traveling and therefore most of the songs are connected to that experience for me. But this particular song brings me back to a morning on the beach in Cadiz.

That day in Cadiz was my first time at a topless beach. I have zippo body confidence, so I kept my top on. Diana's friend from Paris was traveling with us that day, and she promptly shed her top and conversed with us while getting sunburnt in areas that were definitely not used to seeing the sun. I loved the beach that day because it was actually cold out. The sun felt so amazing on my skin. I grew up in Florida and going to the beach for me includes chest collapsing humidity, uncomfortably harsh sun, and blistering heat. I actually had a sweater on over my bathing suit and my really Cuban-looking straw hat.

I remember feeling completely free. That is what travel is to me. Feeling like I don't have to answer to anyone except for myself. When I travel, I'm allowed to be completely self-indulgent. I can change my plans and go where I please. My daily life is so far from this that it stiffles me. It is not that I don't enjoy my career and love my husband. I truly do. But sometimes I miss the carefree and spontaneous version of my self that I seem to have left somewhere over in Europe. I wish I could get that part of myself back and teach her how to live in my here and now.

That day in Cadiz, I put my headphones on and snuggled up in my sweater. I laid back on the warm sand and fell asleep to Don't Panic. Forever, that song and that memory are bonded together.

Otra vez!

25 Nov 08
Orlando, FL 7:55pm
San Juan, PR 11:40pm

28 Nov 08
San Juan, PR 7:45pm
Orlando, FL 9:52pm

It will be a little strange to not spend Thanksgiving at home with our families. I am more excited this time because Steve and I have a better idea of what places to avoid and what places we want to spend more time in. We'll definitely be heading back to Dorado for a full day of snorkeling and surfing. This time I will bring the camera!

All the stars and boulevards ain't close enough for you...

I'm in a really weird phase of my life right now. The past couple of months have been hugely stressful and trying. Steve's brother was living with us for a while and we got wrapped up in his family drama. Even though it didn't directly involve us - being there around it all the time was extremely hard for us. Once he left, Steve and I have been going back and forth about what we want to do with our lives... when will we start having children... how can we move into a bigger house... and on and on.

I have the type of personality where I can't leave things unresolved. Everytime we have one of these "discussions" I feel more and more frustrated because nothing is going to get resolved in an angry discussion occuring at 8pm on a Tuesday night. If anything, we go to bed angry and the whole cycle starts again the next day.

Fortunately, we have a strong marriage and open lines of communication. We decided to come down to West Palm to visit my folks and for once we didn't have any definite plans. Just to come and relax. GREAT idea. We spent most of yesterday getting tanned and laying in my parent's pool. Then we watched about 5 hours of football and went to bed early. I feel refreshed and energetic and for once positive about what the next few months may bring.

Things are not perfect (nor will they ever be...), but I think that if I can be patient and keep my head on straight - Steve will figure out what his path is. I need to just stick to mine and his will come with time.

For the love of the job

I really love my job. I really jumped right in to the whole teaching thing and not only is it my job, but it's such an important part of who I am at this point that I can't imagine having another career. I found something that works so perfectly with what I want in a career. I get to be creative, laugh, and learn myself all day. I could never work in a career where I wasn't constantly learning myself. It saddens me just how much teachers are unappreciated and underpaid, but that just makes me want to work harder. I hope to work my way up to a principal some day and possibly work have some leadership position with the county that would allow me to work towards changing the mistreatment of teachers and students in this state.

I honestly can't wait to go back to work. There is so much more that I want to do this year and I can't wait to get started on it.

The Worry "Cure"

So I am a worrier. My mom is, my grandma probably was, and I'll probably pass this wonderful neurosis on to my lucky future children one day.

My worrying has morphed into full blown anxiety causing attacks and depression. It's not fun.

Well, today I found this great book:

I almost put it back on the shelf, but I started flipping through it and it kind of frightened me just how much of this applies to me. People always say, "Just don't worry so much!" "Relax!" "There's no need to be so stressed..." But what people don't realize is that this worrying is so ingrained in who I am, that it's an unconscious process.

It seriously sounds like this doctor wrote this about me. I am so excited to read it because hopefully it'll give me some insight into what I can do to fix this.

The thing that really hooked me into buying this book was this:

The Seven Rules of Highly Worried People

1. If something bad could happen- if you can simply imagine it0 then it's your responsibility to worry about it.

2. Don't accept any uncertainty- you need to know for sure. (This one REALLY applies to me)

3. Treat all of your negative thoughts as if they are really true.

4. Anything bad that could happen is a reflection of who you are as a person. (Another that I do ALL THE TIME)

5. Failure is unacceptable.

6. Get rid of any negative feelings immediately.

7. Treat everything like an emergency.

I read these and almost started crying - my whole life I've approached my life like this. I have to solve all my problems tonight... right now! Before I go to sleep. I usually lay in bed thinking about things and getting up sometimes to write lists.

Anyways, this post is mainly to say that I am stoked that I am not the only person out there that goes through this. There might be hope for me. :)

Contemplating

Today I had a really good conversation with a friend of mine about the things that we hope to accomplish in the next couple of years. He told me that he admired me because I have the kind of life that is hard to predict over the next 20 years. In his words, "you can tell where some people will go, what type of lives they will lead - and actually predict where they will be in 20 years. You aren't like that." It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

There are so many dreams that I want to accomplish. Most of them are what most would consider "silly" things. No life-changing, universe-altering accomplishments. They are mostly selfish exploits. Things that would make me feel good.

So here's the short list that I rattled off to my friend today:

Learn to speak Italian
Take a photography class
Learn to surf
Go snorkeling in the Florida Keys

I look at that list and each of those things would bring great happiness to my life.

I really feel that lately I've been seriously lacking in the happiness and joy department.

It's the little things that can bring a little bit of sunshine into your life.

Isla de Encanto

Last week, Steve and I visited Puerto Rico for the first time. I was exceptionally excited about this trip because not only was it a place I'd never had the chance to visit before... but it's also where my maternal grandmother was born and raised. My father recently bought a condo on the beach outside of San Juan, in Loiza. I had never heard of this city - and to be honest with you the city itself wasn't exactly memorable. It kinda reminded me of Hialeah. BUT, all that being said, it had one of the most exceptional beaches I've ever been to.

The sand was powdery white and the water was crystal blue. I'm used to the brown waters of lovely Cocoa beach, so I was impressed. We spent a late afternoon at the beach and I snapped a few pictures of the sun setting. I've never really appreciated the beach until this trip. It's always been a nuisance to me - the sand getting stuck in my bathing suit, and the awful sun burning my shoulders. I've made a resolution to not only "sunbathe" at the beach... I'm getting in the water.

Steve spent our time at the beach playing around with my brothers and just basically being "nature boy." He climbed a tree, taught my brothers how to open a coconut and surf waves. It was a great afternoon and for once I didn't want to leave the beach.

On our second day in Puerto Rico, we went to El Yunque National Forest. Our goal was to find a waterfall and swim in it. Simple enough - right? WELL we did find our first waterfall pretty easily. It was just a couple of kilometers into the park and right off of the main road.

Steve promptly jumped over the barrier and we snapped this shot of him in front of the small waterfall. There really wasn't anywhere for us to hop in for a swim though. We asked the cashier at the nearby gift shop where we could find a larger waterfall. She told us that just a few miles up the road there was a trail that would lead us to the second and larger waterfall. So we hopped back into our car and drove up another few miles 'til we spotted the beginning of the trail. We parked our car in the adjacent lot and set out on the Big Tree Trail.

Now I was expecting a bit of a walk - but it was actually much more strenuous that I expected. We hiked in just under a mile... which sounds easy. However, it was on a steep and sometimes slippery and narrow path on the side of a small mountain. I consider myself fairly fit - but I was panting at some points. We were determined though and were greatly rewarded with a beautiful sight after our 30 minute hike.

The waterfall was just a little larger - however, there was a pool at the bottom of it. We stripped down to our bathing suits and hopped in. It was icy cold but really refreshing. I tend to be a little more reserved and uncomfortable when it comes to nature... but of course, my Nature Boy husband was all about it. I had a really good time watching him scale all the rocks and climb into the different areas of the waterfall.

Our next day was spend taking a drive over to the Cuevas en Camuy (Caves in Camuy). Unfortunately, we didn't do our research and were only allowed to see the sinkhole. The caves have apparently been closed since January because of a tragic accident. A tourist visiting from California was hit in the head by a rock and died after visiting the main cave. It kind of made me nervous and respectful of the danger of a place like that. Despite that, we had a fairly decent time and got to see the entrance to a really gorgeous (and creepy) cave.

We were a little disappointed (and I felt really selfish for that... based on the reason it was closed) by not being able to see the inside of the caves. There was also a lot of family tension going on that day - I won't even go into that story as it deserves a whole entry of it's own. It was hot and we were all irritated by the inexplicable amount of lane closures on the highway in Puerto Rico. It took us a few hours to get home and we were basically ready to crash.

The next day, Steve and I took off and went to the beach at Dorado. We actually had never heard of this city until we saw a picture of someone snorkeling in the most astonishingly blue water on the cover of one of our travel books. (Thank you Frommer's!) We looked in the index and found out about this little beach town. We left fairly early that morning - glad to be relieved of the family tension and opressing heat of my Dad's condo. We found the beach and were pleasantly surprised - all locals! I hate touristy areas and when I travel it's my personal mission to find where the locals go. That's the way to experience a place.

Anyway, we scooped up one of the last parking spaces still available adjacent to the beach and grabbed our snorkeling gear from the trunk. We meandered down the beach and through numerous barbecues and family gatherings. I told Steve that I loved how going to the beach was a "family affair" for the Puerto Rican's. I noticed that when you go the beach here in Florida, you will no doubt see groups of girls sunbathing and guys playing volleyball. At Dorado, there was none of this. Each group was a family - portable play pens and all - and everyone had a grill and coolers full of great looking food. I loved it. I wished that I could mosey up to one of the families and enjoy the day with them.

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of this lovely beach. We left our camera in the trunk and spent a few hours swimming out past the shallow reef to go snorkeling. The highlight of my day was being able to swim in the midst of a school of brightly colored, tropical fish. I saw a number of different fish and sea life and quite possibly the one of the largest brain corals in existence. It was a liberating experience to float above all of this beauty.

We were really excited after our gorgeous day and decided to take a ride into Old San Juan. We parked our car next to El Morro (the Spanish fort that hugs the ocean at the corner of the city). We spent a little time walking through the big, open grass field next to the fort. There were tons of families (again - LOVE the closeness of the hispanic families) flying kites and just relaxing. Steve and I found the place we wouldn't mind being buried.

I tend to have a hard time just sitting still and enjoying the atmosphere. Fortunately for me, Steve is one of the few people in this world who can get me to just sit down and take it all in.

The sky was blue, there were families all around, we had not a care in the world on this day. That's what traveling should be about!




After spending a while there, I decided that it was absolutely imperative to have a piragua (snowcone). We found a street vendor and grabbed a couple. We then started to just wander. Our first night in San Juan, we really had wanted to find the historic part of the city where there was some nightlife going on. We failed miserably though - it was like 100 degrees out and we were totally in the wrong part of the city. This day really redeemed that experience for us though. I completely fell in the love with the colonial Spanish part of town.

Now granted, I am probably biased because
I love anything that even remotely reminds
me of Spain. I couldn't stop taking pictures. I also fell into my "reminscing mode" where I can't resist thinking of how much I miss my Espana! All that being said - I really, really love the architecture of Old San Juan. I've always been an "architecture nerd" though. I rather take pictures of buildings than anything else.

The streets were narrow, cobblestone, and hilly. Steve and I found a few cute little shops before we we started to feel the exhaustion of the busy day. We wished that we had more time to spend eating dinner at one of the little restaurants in the city, but reassured ourselves that next time we're in Puerto Rico we will dedicate much more time to this part of the city.

We had to head out to meet the family for dinner... but I managed to snap a few pictures of the colorful Spanish colonial buildings:



Our last day in Puerto Rico was spent on mainly touristy exploits. We visited the Casa Bacardi Visitor Center and indulged in our two free rum drinks. I learned a lot of useless information about the history of the Bacardi Rum business and drank a Mojito. Rock on.


What can I say? I'm a classy traveler.

All in all - we liked Puerto Rico. We also realized that we had just scratched the surface of all that it has to offer. We hope to return sometime soon and find a few more "hidden" treasures (like Dorado!).